Finishing a Marathon

April 25^th, 2006

Of all the things that I expected to feel today, sadness was not one of them. I guess I thought I would be so excited to go home and to see everyone that I wouldn’t even mind my trip ending. In reality, I’m very sad about this phase of my life drawing to a close. It didn’t hit me until I walked through the gates to customs and approached the Hong Kong Resident’s line for the last time. I almost burst into tears in front of the customs guy. So sad. I managed to make it to the security gates before I teared up. I’m not really a crier, so this kind of shocked me.

I feel strange because I’m sad about leaving, but so excited for the summer. Hong Kong and my travels kept me so busy for the last semester that I never stopped to think about actually leaving school. The next month is going to be full of many goodbyes for me. Hopefully, they aren’t forever goodbyes, but inevitably, some of them will be. It’s just the way the world works.

I’ve thought a bit about what I would classify as the best part of my life so far. It’s not an easy question, and honestly, I don’t think it has an answer. While junior high school and senior high school brought me Stephanie and Amber, college brought me… well, that period certainly isn’t going to win, so I won’t even bother with that one. My time in Charlotte was certainly some of the most meaningful and memorable of my life. Business school opened my eyes to so many things that I can’t even describe the change in me. In college, my way of thinking changed. I can’t really describe it. In business school, more core changed. Not my….

Ok, I am the biggest sap that I know. I’m writing this in the Hong Kong airport and listening to Carolina in My Mind for something like the twelve thousandth time today and as soon as the opening chorus started, I totally teared up! Who is this sap?

I know that parts of this trip sucked, but it changed me forever. The end was nothing like the middle in that I found a home with friends and getting through the tough part in the middle taught me so much about what I can accomplish and who I really am. I wanted to back down so many times and something wouldn’t let me. I knew I would regret it, and as much as I wanted to take the easy route, I knew I didn’t belong on that path. I think that making a success out of the second term of my stay showed me that I am the only person setting any limitations on my life. I know, that sounds cheesy and entirely too philosophical, but it’s true and I promised to write the truth. Sometimes I feel a bit exposed when I write such things.

I’ve never run a marathon, but I would imagine that running across the finish line must feel a bit like how I feel today. I’m so proud of my accomplishment, I’ve enjoyed the journey, I’m happy to never relive the painful parts, and I’m sad to see it end. I don’t think either I or the marathon runner is sad to see the finish line, but more sad about the end of the journey to get to the finish, anxious about starting a new race, and concerned that the new race won’t quite live up to the current race. I look forward to meeting my new running partners, whoever they may be!